If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

Here’s a shot of my desk at work from last week.

Why? I have no idea.

I guess we can chalk this up to the “How I Roll” series of posts that provide detail regarding things you don’t care about.

What’s in the picture?

1. My Post-it board. Every task goes on a post-it and is filed under a project or is slotted for a specific day of the week. Tasks that need to be done today are the post-its on my desk in front of my keyboard. old-fashioned? yes. but it works for me.
2. My glasses. If I don’t wear them, by the end of the day my eyes feel exhausted.
3. Pictures from my kids. They’re hidden to people unless they step into my cube.
4. LA Times Crossword Page-a-Day. Some days I’ll fill in a few clues, some days I won’t touch it.
5. Tissue Box. Not sure who that chick is, but I turned her into a pirate with a parrot on her shoulder.
6. Advil. Got a full bottle back there ready to go at the first inkling of a migraine.
7. U.S. Map. I love maps.
8. Me and Erica. One of my favorite pictures of us, from a beach off the Pacific Coast Highway.
9. Fluorescent Lights. Drive me crazy. See #6.

As you can see, things can get a bit cluttered on my desk from time to time.

What about you? Messy desk or neat freak?

Welcome to the third installment of How I Roll, a feature where I go into great detail explaining my quirks regarding things you couldn’t care less about.

(Previous How I Rolls: Personal Hygiene Edition and Eating Lunch at Work Edition)

Today we’re going to talk about condiments, because this is my blog and if I want to devote an entire day to condiments, then I will.

My Top 5 Favorite Condiments (in no particular order)

Spicy Mayo -Most of my favorite sushi rolls involve this delightful sauce, and I also enjoy it on a sub or sandwich.

Ketchup – Here’s my rules for ketchup: a MUST for burgers, an OPTION for fries, and NEVER NEVER NEVER with eggs.

Salsa – Is this a condiment? I think so. You can’t really just eat salsa for a meal. I prefer mine red in color, mild or medium, and more saucy and less chunky.

Gravy – Without it, Thanksgiving dinner is just a better-than-average meal. With it, it’s one of the highlights of my year.

Melted Butter – Elevates the majesty of crab, shrimp, and lobster the way Pippen elevated Jordan’s career to another level.

My Top 5 LEAST Favorite Condiments (in no particular order)

Relish -I relish the thought that I’ll never put this nasty stuff on any food I eat.

Vinegar – Not only am I incapable of drinking it, but I can’t stand it on fries, popcorn, or salad.

Hot Sauce – No thanks, I actually like to taste my food.

(this could also be a perfect statement for Tyler Stanton’s “I already know a lot about you game”: “If you try to impress me with your tolerance of ultra-hot hot sauces…I already know a lot about you”)

Mustard – Unquestionably one of the most vile substances on earth.

A1 Steak Sauce – Let’s take one of the best tasting foods in the world and cover in it a vinegary-based sauce that looks like used motor oil!

Most Qverrated Condiment

Ranch Dressing – sorry y’all, I just can’t get into this creamy elixir. I think what frightens me most about it is that it goes on EVERYTHING. At some point you gotta wonder what kinda funky voodoo is happening when you’re putting the same sauce on your fries, salad, pizza, and carrot sticks.

Most Underrated Condiment

Melted Velveeta- We all know it is the most important component of ultimate cheesy salsa, but I think we’re only scratching the surface with what Velveeta can do for us. What is velveeta anyway? Is it cheese or a cheese product? Wait…don’t tell me, it might ruin the fun.

Okay, your turn. What are the favorite and least favorite condiments in your life…

In August we took a narcissistic look at eating lunch at work. Today’s edition of How I Roll examines how i roll when it comes to personal hygiene.

How I Roll: Personal Hygiene

1. Let’s start with showering, how many days per month do you NOT shower?

I’d say there’s probably 1-3 days a month where I don’t shower. These are always saturdays. I’ll shower every day that I work (sometimes at home, sometimes at the gym at work), and I’ll shower on Sundays when we go to church. On saturdays, if I do anything outdoors that requires me to get dirty or sweaty, or if I just feel like I need a shower, I’ll take one. But some saturdays I just sit around the house with the kids and we play Wii and card games and go out to the mall and I never shower. I hope you are still my friend.

2. Do you shave with an electric razor or a blade? And how often?

I’m a Gillette Fusion guy. I made fun of the 5 blades until I was sent one in the mail. I tried it and loved it. Definitely the best shave I’ve ever had. I’ve tried to do electric a few times in my shaving career, but it never works. If the face hair is too long, it pulls like a bugger. And the neck, forget it. I try to stick to the same shaving schedule every week: Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday mornings. Erica doesn’t like me looking like grizzly adams, so I usually don’t get too creative with the facial hair. At some point I may need to shave every day, but for now I can get away with every other.

3. Do you have any product loyalties with dental products?

Not really. I like to buy nice toothbrushes. Like, the ones that cost $3.99 instead of 99 cents. I figure, whenever you can go for the cadillac and it still costs less than 5 bucks, go ahead and indulge. I’m not picky about my toothpastes. I usually go with a white/blue/green mint flavor, but I’ve tried the cinnamon and orange mint flavors and didn’t mind them. I do try to floss every day. I have those floss picks in my car, and I try to do that on the way home from work. Is that gross? picking and flossing your teeth in the car? I don’t know. If it is, then I am gross.

4. Any other product loyalties?

Deodorant – I’ve been using Sure Invisible Solid, Unscented for a good 5 years now. I’m pretty loyal to that. I used Degree before that but I got major deodorant clumping in my pits. The Sure has reduced clumpage quite a bit. (OK, the clumpage talk has sealed it – I am gross.)

Soap – I use Ivory bars exclusively. All other soaps smell like flowery chunks of perfumed chalk after using Ivory.

Shampoo – anything that is a shampoo/conditioner mix. Pert plus or Fructis or whatever is on sale.

Mouthwash – Listerine hurts my mouth. I know I’m a wuss, but it just doesn’t feel good. I use it anyway though. Then we run out and don’t buy it for 3 months and then I try to kiss Erica after eating garlic triscuits and she pushes me away and then I go out and get more the next day. Or Scope. But usually Listerine.

5. The Biggie: Do you Soap or Shampoo first in the shower?

I soap first. It just feels right. Your body is more important than your hair, so you deal with that first. Get it nice and clean, then you can worry about your hair. Besides, I usually won’t even get my head wet until I’ve finished with the soap portion of the shower. If you wash your hair first, you have to get right in there and get your head wet right off the bat. No thanks.

What about you? If you’ve got a blog, post your own answers to the How I Roll: Personal Hygiene Edition. It’s ok, you can let them know it was my idea and they won’t think you’re full of yourself. (Yeah, I’m looking at you Geof, Ron, Jason, Chris.) At the very least, chime in and let me know if you also soap before you shower, the ONLY way to go.

In fact, vote in the poll over there on the top of the sidebar and let your voice be heard!

So, 11:30am rolls around and the tummy starts rumbling. But where do you go, what do you eat, what time do you head out? Today’s edition of How I Roll examines what we do when we put our jobs aside and stuff our faces.

How I Roll: Lunch Work

1. What time do you usually leave for lunch?

A lot of folks here eat lunch at 11:30am, but I usually wait until after 12:00pm to grab something. If I go to the gym over lunch, that usually happens around 11:30am and then I eat at 12:15pm or so.

2. How long do you usually take for lunch?

I usually eat at my desk, so If it takes me 20 minutes or so to get my food (10 minutes if I go to the cafeteria, 30 if I drive somewhere), it will usually take me about 20 minutes to eat it. I’d say on average I take about 45 minutes for lunch.

3. Ever eat lunch at home?

Nope. I work 36 miles from home, so no chance I’m making that commute. Erica will take the kids out to meet me for lunch once or twice a year, and that’s good fun.

4. What are your favorite places to eat out for Work Lunch?

If I want a salad I hit “The Salad Stop”. For pizza I hit the local “Slice it Up”. Once in a while I’ll get something from Wawa. Occasionally a sub from Subway. Lately I’ve been getting stuff from the cafeteria in my building. They make some great sandwiches, and it’s usually cheaper than eating out somewhere else.

5. How often do you bring food in from home?

Depends on how much Erica has been cooking. In the winter, when she cooks more, I’ll bring in leftovers once a week or more. But in the summer it’s more like once or twice a month. I never pack a lunch with a sandwich. I like bread-and-deli-meat sandwiches about as much as I like traffic.

6. Are you a lone ranger or a community eater?

Typically I’m a lone ranger. I can get stuff done at my desk while I eat like respond to emails and other drivel. I’ll grab lunch with work friends 2 or 3 times a month usually.

7. How often does your company pay for your lunch?

Not too often. Usually only to celebrate a new hire or see off an old one. I guess there are occasional lunch meetings, but on the whole, I’d say I probably eat lunch on the company dime once a month

8. What is your favorite lunch meal of all time?

The Blackened Crabmelt Sandwich at The Big Easy. Sweet mother of Glory, it’s a wonderful thing.

This here thing works best when other people answer the questions too, so put a few friends on the spot to find out how they roll. Buddy, Jason, Ron, Geof, and Jeff, how do you roll for work lunch?