Erica brought a copy of one of the local newspapers home with her yesterday because she knew I’d get a kick out of it.

“Hey, look at all these people I know on the front page!”

My first thought, “Hey, there’s my wife and her co-workers above the fold!”

My second thought, “Hey, there’s my brother-in-law and my friends Sam, Jake, and Bob!”

My third thought, “What the heck is a traffic club?”

My fourth thought, “What else is in this paper that needs to be mentioned?”

…here’s what I found inside…

Is this an ad for buffalo meat or is Buffalo Meat the name of the store?

Though it’s hard to read, 1st line says “Beef sticks for Weddings”. Really?

Is there something about the marriage covenant that makes people crave dry meat cylinders?

If I try to serve the beef sticks at a graduation party will they taste awful?

Also, 3rd line says “Jersey Bull Ready to Butcher”…

…does that mean the Bull is the one who cuts up your meat for you?

Because that is really twisted.

This ad made a lot of sense in June.

But it’s a little too late to “Think ahead for the fall hunt” in late October.

I’m confused.

The engagement announcement makes me think I should celebrate…

…but the picture makes me think I should be filled with sorrow.

Perhaps he’ll cheer up when he finds out there’s going to be beef sticks at the reception.

Apparently 1-800-776-7263 was already taken.

Either that or someone goofed up when reserving the telephone number.

Personally, I would have gone with 1-800-PROPANO

Here’s a Mulch Blowing Service that proudly announces “We Deliver”

Between you and me, I was kind of assuming they delivered.

Otherwise that would have to be the most powerful blower ever.

Yeah, I get what they’re doing here.

who doesn’t love a cuddly kitten and the thought of having a loyal pet by your side?

But replace the cute kitten, and the ad suddenly seems a lot more depressing. Or creepy.

Like I said, a little creepy.