Things I DO NOT support

28 Comments

Posted on Mon, Oct 5th, 2009 - 10:56 am by Bryan Allain

in no particular order, here’s a few things you won’t see me supporting anytime soon…

(don’t take any of this personally…unless your name rhymes with Flip Cosby)

+ turtlenecks

+ mustard

+ loud motorcycles

+ The BCS college football system

+ deep sea fishing trips

+ face-painting for anyone over the age of 12

+ Farmville on Facebook

+ Mafia Wars on Facebook

+ 99% of everything on Facebook

+ thick-waled corduroys

+ Tyler’s recent surge in Twitter followers

+ beers with more calories than a philly cheesesteak

+ pennies

+ coworkers bringing in donuts

+ trackball mouses (mice)

+ wearing a basketball jersey while not playing basketball

+ Tripp Crosby’s adamant refusal to take the Humor Survey

+ soup spoons

+ my own snacking habits

What about you?

Want to make a statement a remove your support from anything under the sun?

Here’s your chance.

Posted by Bryan Allain

Tags:

Filed in ... Humor

Your Comments

28 Comments so far

  1. Daniel Klotz says:

    How can you POSSIBLY not support soup spoons? I don’t support regular spoons, that’s how much I like soup spoons.

    The rest I can understand. Even if I like donuts and mustard. Not together.

  2. Alex says:

    99.9% of application invites on facebook. or the ridiculous amounts that i receive each day.

  3. Melissa says:

    *Email forwards, even those promising a miracle within 10 minutes

    *Coin operated crane games

    *Junk machines that sell jewelry in plastic containers

    *Coffee

    *Peanut butter

  4. Tyler says:

    -fleece vests
    -Captain D’s
    -John Gosselin
    -Christian fiction
    -Nickelback
    -White Cheddar Cheez-its
    -Crocs

  5. Everett says:

    how can you NOT support trackball mice? they are amazing.

    no matter how many of my friends wear them, i do not support v-neck t-shirts. it is a matter of practicality for me – too much chest hair.

  6. Joanna says:

    - Swine flu (I’ve had it. It sucked. Being confined to an unconditioned room in the tropics when you have a high fever is torture)

    - Jasmine tea

    - Broken and/or empty vending machines.

    - Live turtles in the supermarket (Yes, i have actually seen this one)

    -Coffee stains on light colored shirts

    - Twitter spam

  7. AymieJoi says:

    * Country music
    * Laws that make expensive things illegal not to have without making them free (a.k.a health insurance in the state of MA)
    * Speedos
    * Strawberry gum
    * Facial hair
    * Basketball

    I feel so much better now that I’ve been supplied with an outlet for things I do not support. Thank you, Bryan.

  8. Christopher says:

    The small hands line of burger king commercials
    recycling
    Children

  9. Jared says:

    - neal patrick harris
    - non-japanese waiters at japanese restaurants
    - the WNBA
    - companies that won’t hire me
    - joni eareckson tada emails forwarded to my by my mother

  10. Lacey says:

    * pooping in your pants
    * the no-sharing your plate rule at restaurants
    * using markers to change a perfectly natural looking piece of furniture’s appearance
    * cookie cutter chick flicks
    * dog pee

  11. jennybek says:

    +fleas
    +tiny bathroom stalls that require climbing into the toilet in order to shut the door
    +people who pee in the open rather than climb in toilet to shut door

  12. Kevin says:

    Bull riding
    The Mercedes “Smart Car”
    Facebook “Cause Invitations” (I always feel guilted into)
    The New York Yankees
    The LOGO channel
    e-mail forwards
    Ketchup on eggs
    Mafia Wars
    People at the gym that pose in the mirror
    And after this weekend, anymore than 3 deep fried Oreo’s
    Oh yeah, Wal-Mart.

  13. The guy that keeps walking past me in the gym as I’m on the recumbent bike, making me think I’m going to inadvertently kick him in the lower leg.
    People that pretend to be a bumper sticker while I’m driving in the rain. I had to talk myself out of committing insurance fraud by nailing the brakes to get a new car.
    From the looks of my list thus far, it appears I don’t like anybody who isn’t me. So I’ll stop now before showing too much of my butt.

  14. Kelly says:

    What the heck is wrong with soup spoons? Do you need something daintier?

  15. aaron says:

    “face-painting for anyone over the age of 12″

    does that include kiss and david bowie? cause i can’t support you on that.

  16. Katy G says:

    Daniel would argue that loud motorcycles are a good thing because they let other drivers know they are around…there are some overly obnoxious ones though that drive me crazy.

  17. janelle says:

    *clocks set 10 minutes fast

    *farting under the sheets, (this is NOT from experience, just something I KNOW I don’t support)!

    *my children walking in front of the grocery cart! do they WANT to have their ankles cut off?

    *loud music w/ obnoxious bass coming from buggies, (and this I do speak of from experience….just sit on our front porch some Sunday night and you’d be amazed at the bass that comes out of those things)!!

    *fatty bacon….just crisp it to death for me please, thank you!

  18. Sarah says:

    - people who don’t support Nickelback

    - Duke

    - Coach K

    - children calling me “Miss Sarah”

    - NASA

    - making my bed

    - bug bites

  19. Cruz says:

    RICHARD SIMMONS!!!!

  20. jordan says:

    people who stop in the middle of a walkway in a crowded area

  21. David Carrel says:

    Neighbor’s barking dogs

  22. DTDorrin says:

    -Men who wear Axe body spray
    -People who don’t pull all the way to the white line at a stop light (just finish the job!)
    -Ugg boots
    -Cornbread in milk
    -Any reality show that attempts to convince their viewers that love and lust are the same thing (i.e. The Bachelor)

  23. Zac says:

    *Walmart
    *Country Music
    *Fox News
    *Sweatshop clothing (i.e. The Gap, Old Navy, Nike, etc.)
    *People who drive in the left lane that have no intention of passing the person on the right!
    *Fans of the Philadelphia Flyers, Detroit Red Wings and Washington Crapitals
    *Deer that think it is a great idea to hang out on the road

  24. Peter P says:

    I do not support the idea of my children throwing up in the night while my wife is at work.

    I also don’t support broccoli – little trees? Who eats trees – of any size?

  25. Jojo Agot says:

    a person taking calls in front of you

    guys who wear super big headphones

    men who wear lipgloss

    people who walk slowly in a congested hallway, like they’re walking in the park

    and yes, loud motorcycles.

  26. James says:

    *Wankers that think abstinence is cool

    *Wankers that try to demonize smokers

    *Wankers that were tight pants when they have no buisness in them

    *All music produced after the year 1991

    *Mint chocolate

    *The Jone-Ass brothers (I will get them one day…)


Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Things I DO NOT Support Redux - 06. Oct, 2009

    [...] on…yesterday’s DO NOT Support post elicited so many comments, it deserved a follow-up post. So here we [...]

  2. Things I DO Support - 29. Oct, 2009

    [...] If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!A few weeks ago we all shared some things we DIDN’T support. [...]

Share your view

Post a comment



Bryan Allain is a writer, speaker, and pretend hitchhiker living in Lancaster County, PA with his wife Erica and their two kids, Kylie and Parker.
He'll make you laugh or your money back.
You can reach him at bryanallain(at)gmail.com

   


Donate Online

Twitter: bryanallain

  • Books I Didn't Write (#002 coming tomorrow) http://bit.ly/12lh6J
  • No, I did not just spend 10 minutes on LOSTpedia looking for a name for my fantasy baseball team, why do you ask?
  • Can't decide if being one of the people who decide on MPAA ratings for movies would be the best or worst job ever.
  • Mr. Wizard > The Wizard (w/ Fred Savage) > Washington Wizards > The Wiz
  • apparently you need to do work to get things off your to-do list. just staring at them does not make them go away.

© 2010 BryanAllain.com. Powered by Wordpress.

Daily Edition Theme by WooThemes - Premium Wordpress Themes