I think the Snuggie officially changed the game for infomercials. No longer are they trying to convince you to buy a product. Now all they’re doing is trying to be ridiculous as possible in hopes that their commercial will go viral.
Well, congratulations Comfort Wipe. You win.
So much to comment on, but I’ll just highlight 10 things and let you guys fill in the rest and add in your commentary:
1. (0:01) The video opens with someone yanking the TP on the roll. That dude is about to wipe with 22 squares of TP, which is a bit excessive. Not only that, but who scrunches when the TP is still on the roll?
2. (0:15) “The first improvement to toilet paper as we know it since the 1880s!” Really? Because I’m pretty sure in the 1880s they were still wiping themselves with tree bark and oak leaves. What about the invention of perforations? What about the invention of 2-ply and 3-ply? What about the invention of Charmin Toilet Quilts?
3. (0:18) “It extends your reach a full 18 inches.” I’m sorry, if you can’t reach your butt to wipe, maybe it’s time to spend your money on something other than a Comfort Wipe. Now, if you were born with stubby arms or a 3-foot deep butt, then I’m not talking to you, so please don’t be offended. Actually, I don’t know who I’m talking to. Let’s move on.
4. (0:23) “It’s as easy to use as a shower brush!” In fact, if you’ve ever wanted to rub fecal on yourself in the shower, now you can!
5. (0:32) “Think about it. Toilet paper is really archaic and disgusting” You know what, I did think about it and I disagree. Toilet paper is neither archaic nor disgusting. Pooping in a hole in the ground and using your left hand to wipe yourself is really archaic and disgusting. Toilet paper is fine. Not to mention that you’re still using toilet paper in this process. So really shouldn’t you be trying to convince me that holding soiled toilet paper in my hand is disgusting, and not the toilet paper itself?
6. (0:38) “That’s right! Never touch another dirty toilet tissue.” Instead, touch a piece a plastic that’s been between the butt cheeks of everyone in your house.
7. (0:40) “Being a big guy certainly has its advantages” Really? What exactly, are those advantages? I mean, nothing against big guys here, but I’d really like to see a separate video where Mr. Blue shirt unpacks that statement for us.
8. (0:50) “The comfort wipe allows you to maintain your dignity” That would be great, except for the fact that you lost every ounce of dignity you ever had when you decided to order the Comfort Wipe. (and what accent is she using when she says the word ‘dignity’? Olde English? Rich Person?)
9. (1:10) Apparently you can tear your shoulder labrum from wiping your butt. How fast are these people wiping themselves that it’s requiring major reconstructive surgery?
10. (1:26) Mark my words, the Get-A-Grip will be responsible for multiple deaths by the end of the year. I’m not rejoicing in it, just giving you the facts.
Bonus. (1:35) “The entire $50 value for just $19.99″ Can we get some info on the independent organization who set a value on these time items at $50? I’d like them to come and appraise my house.
What do you think? Is this the personal hygiene product you’ve been dreaming of all your life?
What else in this video is worthy of mockery?
Posted by Bryan AllainTags: Comfort Wipe, infomercials, toilet paper
I tried so hard to figure out that this was some elaborate hoax. I went to the website. I looked for clues. Nothing. This thing is legit.
I’m utterly speechless. I laughed so hard at your commentary that I’m about to do the unthinkable. I’m about to RT this post, from my Twitter nemesis, to all of my Twitter people.
Well played Mr. Allain.
I heard a rich person talking about the Comfort Wipe (TM) just the other day, and they were going on and on about the restoration of “DigniTAY” to their bowel movements. So, it’s not a British pronunciation, but a plummy East Coast one. West Hampton, maybe.
To add to point 2. Tree bark, oak leaves and don’t forget the corn cobs – which could extend to about the length of The Comfort Wipe in some cases, depending on the size of the crop that year!
also, why does their logo include a flower? will this device also make my poop smell like roses?
OK, that was hilarious! I am sitting here laughing when I should be feeding my kids lunch. Thanks Bryan for making me a bad mother.
Oh. My. Ghandi. Definitely a shameless ploy to go viral.
You really do some deep thinking about your blog posts don’t you?
Wonder where you do that….
I hate to say it, but you make the product sound even better than it probably is. I kind of want one now.
crying. with. laughter. my 2 year old thinks he’s doing something funny and keeps laughing with me….i’m passing this one on, that was the greatest laugh i’ve had in awhile.
good seeing you the other night, i wasn’t sure if that was you standing by the porto pot when i walked by and i didn’t want to be like, “hey Bryan” and then some other dude turns around….anywho, nice yelling to you from across the field nonetheless!
Very well done.
Check out the spoof of this that was done on YouTube…
http://tinyurl.com/ComfortableStick
Definitely worth sharing.
Excuse me, I laughed too hard, and need to go use the comfort wipe now.
I was laughing so hard at your comment, I’m at work and people keep glancing at me like I’m crazy. The funniest part is that I could actually picture your face while your writing the comments. heh.. I don’t think I can read this at work any more, people are going to start calling psych on me.
The play by play here is fantastic.
thanks Carl, April, and Andy!