If you’ve ridden in a car with me before, then we’ve probably listened to music together.
Despite my better judgment, I’m going to give you a behind the scenes look at what happens before and after we listen to music in the car together.
1. I am headed to pick you up.
I’m thinking about what we can listen to. Is it a favorite band that we share? Then maybe we’ll listen to Coldplay, Caedmon’s Call, or United. Am I trying to impress you with how eclectic my musical tastes are? Then maybe I’ll turn on some Cold War Kids, Allman Brothers, or Nada Surf. Do I want to look current and on top of my game? Then I’ll put on an album that released yesterday. Am I trying to get you into a band that you have never heard before? Then you better listen up, because the choice of music is all about you.
2. I am pulling in your driveway.
There is probably one song that I really want you to hear. But I don’t want you to know that I really want you to hear it. So I’ll go to the song before and cue it up to a point in the middle of the song and then I’ll pause it. Now I’ll wait for you to come out to the car. I won’t unpause the song until I see you (in case it takes you a while), but as soon as I see you I have to be quick. I don’t want you to hear me unpause the song. I want you to think I’ve been listening to the music the whole time and none of this is planned. So now you get into the car in the middle of what you think is a randomly selected song. You have no idea this next song is for you, do you?
3. We drive away.
I have carefully selected a music volume level that is loud enough for us to enjoy, but soft enough that if you decide to tell me a story I don’t want to hear, I don’t have to turn down the music. We will say “hi” and exchange pleasantries, of course, but let’s not delve into a deep conversation just yet. After all, this song is about to end, and who knows, the next song just might be a good one?
Now, if you start telling me a complicated story that is going to interfere with your song, you leave me with 3 options:
A - pause the music. This action screams, “You are interrupting this song I want you to hear!”, so I rarely break this out. But if you know what you’re doing, you can make it look like you are stopping the music because you are interested in what THEY have to say. Just be sure they are completely done with the story before you unpause. Nothing worse than having to go back and pause it again. Once you double-pause you are setting a tough precedent to keep up with.
B – lower the music. I hate lowering the music. It’s a sign of defeat. Yes, you are more important to me than music, of course you are. But unless this is a really great story, I think I would rather hear this song that I’ve cued up just for you. (Once you’ve lowered the music you might as well keep it low until there’s been a 20-second break in the convo. Then you may raise it again.)
C – keep the voume level high. My personal favorite. Even if they seem annoyed by the music, just ignore them. Pretend that you are capable of enjoying the music AND their story at the same time. And then when the story is done, the music level is already where you want it to be.
4. We arrive at our destination.
Did you like my music selection? Do you think more of me as a person? Do you like driving in my car? Did I miss my calling as a DJ?
These are the unspoken questions that rattle around in my brain. I’m sorry, I just really like music and I was assuming you did too. You did like it, right? Yes, of course you did. Let’s do this again sometime.
What about you? Do you have any rules, pet peeves, or guidelines for listening to music in the car?
Will you ever get in the car with me again without thinking I’m an idiot?
Posted by Bryan Allain
I felt like I wrote this post, Bryan. I would add a sub category to the complicated story options
C (2) – Gradually Increase The Volume
As I slowly discover that your grandiose story is nothing but a time-wasting bunch of gibberish, I will slowly increase the volume so as to drown you out.
you raise a good point Michael, because folks who have Volume Control on their steering wheel have a HUGE advantage over the rest of us.It’s easy to gradually bring the music back up with a tap of your finger. But when you have to reach over and turn the knob, you’re going to be noticed.
If I’m feeling sneaky, sometimes I’ll go for the between song volume adjustment. If you can pull it off when they’re not looking, you can get some extra volume before the next song starts.
Dude. You’ve given this a whole lot of thought. I’m one of those annoying people that keeps playing the same song over and over again, trying to convince you that you should love it as much as I do.
If I’m using the between song adjustment I tend to add an “I LOVE THIS SONG” (even if I don’t) to add more weight to the shut-up-you-big-jerk factor. This could backfire depending on the next song, however
I usually opt for just singing the passenger my favorite song of the day. Loud, in falsetto.
i would like to know Erica’s Cannarf Review of a Bryan playlist.
bryan, it’s almost like we share a brain stem. also, there’s nothing worse than pulling up to a house and in the hands of your passenger is a stack of cd’s they want YOU to hear (after all my planning ahead of time!). that’s usually when I squeal out and just leave them in the driveway with their stupid selection of cd’s, covered in dust and my tears.
i’m one of those filthy rich people who have the volume control on the steering wheel. when the story starts to drag, a discrete thumb tap on the ‘volume up’ button will do the trick. before you know it, he starts winding down the story about his last round of golf and you’re back to showing off that obscure fray-covering-a-kanye-song you downloaded off limewire.
@davejac – Erica and I share similar taste in music for the most part. There’s a few bands I like that she doesn’t and vice versa, but there’s so much we both like that its never a problem.
That being said, Erica’s the only one who gets story authority over my songs. I’ll still pick the music most of the time, but I don’t try any of these tactics with her.
@joe – ugh. the worst. to me, the control of the music is part of the whole “who’s going to drive?” deal. When you relegated driving control to me, the music control went along with it.
@tyler – i hope someone calls you out on the thumb tap at some point. now that would be fantastic.
@luke – next time we go somewhere, I’m driving.
@kat – i have given this a lot of thought, but that’s only because I love sharing music with people. It just kinda happens (as Joe and Mike can probably attest to).
i definitely always think about who is going to be in the car with me and what one song or artist i want them to hear. and my biggest pet peeve is when the passenger calls someone and talks on their phone the whole ride. its so rude, i am obligated to turn down the volume, but now what am i supposed to listen to? one half of a conversation? i wanted you to hear this song, i lost the perfect opportunity for that to happen, next time im driving you somewhere there will be a new song i want you to hear and this one will go unheard
I always am picking music and syncing it up when I meet up with someone. There’s something about being a vehicular DJ that gets me so excited.
It’s a slight variation of your topic, but here’s something I’m paranoid about –
When I pull into the church parking lot, I always make sure that my radio is on the Christian radio station before I turn the car off. Even if I was listening to Nickelback on my way there. That way if I end up carpooling with someone to lunch, or my window is down and someone at church hears it, when I start car up again they will know that I listen to Christian radio and think that I am a super holy, good person. (I’ve found this really only works for people who happen to hear my music in the parking lot. If you know me well enough to get in my car and let me drive you somewhere, you probably have no illusions left about my holiness or goodness. I keep trying though.)
If the person riding with me talks over a song I want him/her to hear, it always seems to happen during the one crucial moment. And by “the one crucial moment” I mean the part I know all the words to. This hurts my feelings.
And to all those out there that dared to start talking WHILE I was showing off my lyrical memorization skills… You owe me an apology or at least a “wow was that you or the guy on the CD?”
totally agree on the “One Crucial Moment” thing. You’re listening to ‘Fix You’ and the song has built up to the “Tears stream…” anthemic part and right then your passenger is like, “so, what you got going on this weekend?”
it’s like, um, excuse me, did you not feel the crescendo building in that song? Did you not feel the goosebumps beginning to rise on my arm? Are you even human or are you some future version of the Small Wonder?
How in the world have we survived two car trips together?
Oh yes, I was driving for both of them.
Fantastic track, and I’m not even into that type of music.