As always, these are actual photos take from my actual phone of actual Amish people.

Random amish dude rollerblading down the street.

No punchline here, I think the serenity of the picture speaks for itself.

Not sure why there’s 10 Amish boys sitting so close to the road, but I’ve got 3 guesses…

1. They’re trying to get as far away from the girls as possible.

2. They’re trying to escape the Amish church.

3. They’re hiding a Nintendo DS.

Some Sundays are worse than others for buggy traffic.

On this particluar Sunday, the buggies were definitely “out”.

Double-yellow “no passing” lines, I fart in your general direction.

3 Amish children transporting a marijuana bush.

What do you do if the lawn is a little too thick for an amish push mower?

You’ve got 2 options:

1. Get your little brother to pull the mower while you push.

Or…

2. You break out the Amish riding mower.

Who needs a John Deere when you’ve got an Ed Horse?

So you know how Derek Webb has been hiding pieces of his new music all over the country for fans to find? (just say ‘yes’ so we can move on)

Well, a few minutes ago on his Twitter, author Donald Miller made a similar announcement regarding his new book that releases in October, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.

We are working on a plan to hide several “kinko’s” print outs of a million miles in a thousand years, autographed, all over the country.

twitter followers will be notified as to where they are. more later.

Think Derek’s latest adventure has influenced Don to have some fun as well? Well this picture, taken of the two of them celebrating Derek’s 35th birthday this week, is all the proof I need.

What do you think? Not necessarily ‘controversial’ like Derek’s deal…but pretty cool nonetheless. I’d love to get my hands on a kinko’s copy of Million Miles. Especially if it was well before the release date.

Oh, and this seems like as good a time as any to remind you that I am still the world record holder for the “Person who is Photographed with Don and Derek Looking More Unamused than They’ve Ever Been”

Like Dimaggio’s 56, it’s a record that might never be broken.

We’re all inspired by different things at different phases of our lives.

For me, right now, my family is probably the biggest inspiration that I have. God has blessed me with such an amazing friend for a wife, and my kids are such a pleasure to be with. When I think about it I literally start to question why it is that God has blessed me so much beyond what I deserve…and I’m not just saying that to sound like a good guy or something. I just don’t get it.

My family inspires me to take care of my body, so I’ll be there for them as long as I can be. They inspire me to put my 40 hours in at a job I am not super passionate about because I love being able to provide for them. They inspire me to work on the craft of writing and making people laugh, because they want me to do the things I feel like I’m supposed to be doing. And they inspire me to honor God with my life and the decisions I make, because I want to be a positive influence on all of them, helping them serve God in their own unique way.

To Erica, Kylie, and Parker: thanks for putting up with such a doofus for a dad. And thanks for being so incredible. I love you guys.

Whatever or whomever it is that inspires you, be sure to thank God today for bringing them into your life. Every good and perfect gift is from above.

What if I told you that every dollar you spent on coffee over the next month could go DIRECTLY to the International Justice Mission (who I highlighted on the blog yesterday)?

Well my friends (and enemies), as absurd as this is, you can make this happen.

Storyville Coffee is literally giving away every dollar they make in May (including shipping costs!) to the International Justice Mission to aid in the work of rescuing girls/children from human trafficking and prostitution rings.

In case you don’t get it, let me spell it out for you:

1. You order a bunch of coffee from Storyville in the next 3 days.

2. They take all the money you spend and give it to IJM.

3. Storyville gets great publicity, you drink great coffee (according to my friend Brad, it is great coffee) & IJM gets much needed funds.

4. You come back to my blog and tell me about it.

This is a WIN-WIN-WIN. And honestly, it almost makes it sinful to get coffee from anywhere else over the next 3 days. I kid, I kid.

This offer runs out late Sunday night, so go order some now. Even if you don’t like coffee…order some anyway and give it away as a gift. The only downside that I can see is that they send you beans, not ground coffee, so hopefully you have a coffee grinder.

PS…I don’t have a coffee grinder, can you anyone recommend an inexpensive, reliable one?

(h/t: IJM, BradRuggles.com, Storyville Coffee)

If you’ve ridden in a car with me before, then we’ve probably listened to music together.

Despite my better judgment, I’m going to give you a behind the scenes look at what happens before and after we listen to music in the car together.

1. I am headed to pick you up.

I’m thinking about what we can listen to. Is it a favorite band that we share? Then maybe we’ll listen to Coldplay, Caedmon’s Call, or United. Am I trying to impress you with how eclectic my musical tastes are? Then maybe I’ll turn on some Cold War Kids, Allman Brothers, or Nada Surf. Do I want to look current and on top of my game? Then I’ll put on an album that released yesterday. Am I trying to get you into a band that you have never heard before? Then you better listen up, because the choice of music is all about you.

2. I am pulling in your driveway.

There is probably one song that I really want you to hear. But I don’t want you to know that I really want you to hear it. So I’ll go to the song before and cue it up to a point in the middle of the song and then I’ll pause it. Now I’ll wait for you to come out to the car. I won’t unpause the song until I see you (in case it takes you a while), but as soon as I see you I have to be quick. I don’t want you to hear me unpause the song. I want you to think I’ve been listening to the music the whole time and none of this is planned. So now you get into the car in the middle of what you think is a randomly selected song. You have no idea this next song is for you, do you?

3. We drive away.

I have carefully selected a music volume level that is loud enough for us to enjoy, but soft enough that if you decide to tell me a story I don’t want to hear, I don’t have to turn down the music. We will say “hi” and exchange pleasantries, of course, but let’s not delve into a deep conversation just yet. After all, this song is about to end, and who knows, the next song just might be a good one?

Now, if you start telling me a complicated story that is going to interfere with your song, you leave me with 3 options:

A - pause the music. This action screams, “You are interrupting this song I want you to hear!”, so I rarely break this out. But if you know what you’re doing, you can make it look like you are stopping the music because you are interested in what THEY have to say. Just be sure they are completely done with the story before you unpause. Nothing worse than having to go back and pause it again. Once you double-pause you are setting a tough precedent to keep up with.

B – lower the music. I hate lowering the music. It’s a sign of defeat. Yes, you are more important to me than music, of course you are. But unless this is a really great story, I think I would rather hear this song that I’ve cued up just for you. (Once you’ve lowered the music you might as well keep it low until there’s been a 20-second break in the convo. Then you may raise it again.)

C – keep the voume level high. My personal favorite. Even if they seem annoyed by the music, just ignore them. Pretend that you are capable of enjoying the music AND their story at the same time. And then when the story is done, the music level is already where you want it to be.

4. We arrive at our destination.

Did you like my music selection? Do you think more of me as a person? Do you like driving in my car? Did I miss my calling as a DJ?

These are the unspoken questions that rattle around in my brain. I’m sorry, I just really like music and I was assuming you did too. You did like it, right? Yes, of course you did. Let’s do this again sometime.

What about you? Do you have any rules, pet peeves, or guidelines for listening to music in the car?

Will you ever get in the car with me again without thinking I’m an idiot?