What to do on a lazy sunday morning when church is canceled because of the weather? Have some photoshopping fun of course.
Here’s what I did: I loaded this page of random flickr images and had to pick one of them to create a cover a for book. I reloaded the page and repeated 6 more times to come up with 7 total images. Then I used my hack photoshop skills to turn these images into the 7 book covers for books I didn’t write.
note: I TOTALLY should have given credit to the photographers of these images, but I didn’t think to do it as I was loading the random images. Now I have no idea who they are. I offer them my full apologies and assure them that I will make no money off of their amazing images.
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Inspired one day when his broken camera served as a paperweight, author Bryan Allain spreads his message of efficient reuse to the world: “Don’t Throw Out That Broken Camera!”. A paperweight, a christmas tree ornament, a hat, and even a weapon to fend off intruders…discover the many uses of that busted Canon.
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World renowned makeup artist Bryan Allain walks you through the dos and don’ts of the art of makeup. Using everyday objects like sidewalk chalk and charcoal briquettes, Bryan paints on the palette of the female face with the grace of Van Gogh and the edginess of an angry Alec Baldwin.
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A collection of Bryan Allain’s shortest stories. Some are only 40 syllables long. Others are wordless.
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The harrowing tale of a young man raised by russian con artists in an ethyl alcohol distillery.
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Are spoons getting smaller these days, or are our liquids just taking up more volume? In the spirit of Malcolm Gladwell, Eric Carle, and Henry David Thoreau, author Bryan Allain takes an in-depth look into the curved eating implement named after a form of snuggling.
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Poet Extraordinaire Bryan Allain weaves an afghan of words and feelings in this engaging collection of rap music without the heavy bass and bling. Comes with a coupon for Kleenex to help you sop up all the emotion that will pour out of you as you melt in the eruption of words and punctuation.
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What’s in that girl’s belly? Is it an 8-month old fetus or a whole lot of Amstel Light? In this visually stunning masterpiece, author/photographer Bryan Allain provides 125 pictures of round female guts for which you must answer the question: Is she pregnant…or is that a beer belly? Great as a party game! (answer key provided in the back of the book!)
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So if these books were real, which one would you want me to write? Which one would you buy?
Posted by Bryan AllainTags: Books, fake authorship
Dude, those are awesome. I love the one about the bigger spoon. Totally sounds like a Malcom Gladwell title. I also think it would be fun to read about a boy raised by russian con artists in an ethyl alcohol distillery.
Which one you writing first? I’m going to pre-order it.
Is she pregnant…and is that REALLY a woman or maybe a pregnant man (*gasp*). I don’t know if you relize this but I am from that little town in Oregon made famous by Oprah, People, The Enquirer, Star, etc. for showcasing the ‘pregnant man’. We all say ‘hooey’ because it’s a woman (uh…men DO NOT have ovaries, duh) with a beard. Yeah, this get’s the town talkin’! (In this town it’s crazy. It’s a ‘westside’ (liberal) vs. ‘eastside’ (conservative) thing. Seriously. Must be the SoCal influence.)
…reAlize…
Too funny! The Day the Sun Cried. I love the, “some are 40 syllables long and others are wordless”… classic.
i would like this to become a book of the month club.
@brad – not sure which one I’m writing first. Probably the distillery novel. that book is just begging to be written.
@jake thanks for the props
@davejac – you ask and you shall receive! the Books I Didn’t Write Club shall be born and it shall bear much fruit and it shall be good.
A broken Canon 5D MkII makes me cry just thinking about it.
And Bry, you really should’ve followed copyright and Flickr ToS.
Hope you don’t go to copyright hell! 
you know you’re the only reason i put that disclaimer on there. and yeah, next time I’ll follow protocol.
Geof’s been quite the copyright Nazi lately!
(With good reason, I know)
Hehehehehe. But that’s because I love Creative Commons!
Bryan, you are messed up…I want every book!
Definitely the party book, beer belly or pregnant. Hilarious, what movie was that when the main character thought the lady was pregnant, wasn’t it Robin Williams in Mrs. Doubtfire?