When you look up “handyman” in the dictionary the definition says “the opposite of Bryan Allain”.
If you know me at all, you know I’m the worst handyman ever. It doesn’t help that my father-in-law is a retired homebuilder either. There’s no sense in me attempting any project when I know he can do it twice as well in half the time.
I’m not sure how this happened. My dad is a great handyman. He has put in flooring, built a deck, and re-shingled their house. I can’t even fix a wobbly chair. Thankfully, Erica has much grace for me in this deficient area of my life, though I’m sure even she gets annoyed by incompetence from time to time.
Just how bad of a handyman am I? So bad that I classify an activity as easy as “putting up Christmas lights” as a handyman activity. If it involves the house, and putting something up (christmas lights, picture frames, light fixtures), I stink at it like yesterday’s salmon.
The Un-Handyman strikes again
This morning I tried to put Christmas lights in the bushes in our front yard. As you might have guessed, this didn’t turn out so well.
What about you guys? Any fellow Un-Handymen (or un-handywomen) out there? Or can you hold your own with hammer, nail, wood, screwdrivers, drills, and other such difficult things that I can’t seem to figure out?
Posted by Bryan AllainTags: Christmas Lights, UnHandyman
I like to think I’m a handyman, but in reality I suck. I walk through Home Depot and the first thing I look for, is someone who can help me. The only “handy” things I know, are things that broke (because I probably broke it) and someone had to show me how to fix it right.
Totally guilty of being a fellow “un-handyman.” Every time my dad comes to visit and helps me out with a project he has to bring his own tools because he things mine are so “wimpy.”
@jake – no matter what store you walk into you’re looking for someone who can help you. whether it’s best buy looking for some high-tech advice or taco bell asking for the cashier’s opinion on the frutista-freeze. i know how you work.
@brad – glad to hear there’s other guys out there like me. does your wife give you grief and make you figure it out or does she just do stuff herself? (or does she call her dad like erica does?)
I am a “handyman” thanks to your father-in-law.
i’m no handy-woman, although i would like to learn how to use powertools….but i’m thinking i should start with the basics, like a hammer and a screwdriver or something like that. i’m just thinking it would be more fun to get to the “good stuff” right away. i’m thinking i won’t have much of a chance though because MY HUSBAND CAN DO ANYTHING. and i am seriously not kidding. sometimes it scares me. for example: our first little apartment we were RENTING, he asked the landlords if he could enclose the front porch to extend the living quarters, CUT A HOLE IN THE CEILING and build a staircase to make a second bedroom and put a hot tub out back, elevated with a giant fence around it??? they said yes and didn’t charge us rent for the first 6 months we were married….THEY GOT SUCH A GOOD DEAL OUT OF THAT, but so did we because we got to live in the beauty of it. just the other day he said he felt like there wasn’t enough heat upstairs, (we live in a old, restored farmhouse)….so HE CUTS A HOLE IN THE CEILING, (there’s a pattern going on here) and puts a vent in…in like 1 hour! I am now sitting in what use to be our DIRT cellar that he has turned into his office a few weeks ago. You can’t even stand in here….well, I can, but he can’t because he’s 6’3 and the ceiling is 5’4….he said, “i’m sitting at my desk the whole time anyway.” so he makes this amazing office, (i’ll post about it soon). SO, that was my shout out to my amazing husband who is now dreaming up possiblities of knocking down walls and exteneding our living space….i just sit back and am amazed. (all this coming from a home where my Dad literally nailed a 2×4 to the wall and then put the toilet paper holder onto it because it “wasn’t staying in the wall.” that sucker is still there….10 years later!!!)
holy cow, that was a long post…..
yeah, longest. comment. ever.
but awesome that Jake is so handy
Bryan, being an “Un-handyman” is not all that bad. I personally am a handyman. The thing is, every handyman out there loves to teach. Sure, they may give a hard time the entire time they are giving you a hand, but deep down, we still enjoy it (the teaching part that is). So, don’t get down on your self too much. Just remember, there isn’t anything that a man can’t learn how to do if he works hard enough at it. Something my grandad once told me, but then said that the quality of a mans’ BS is the true outcome of his intellegence; so I guess take it for what it is worth.
So the other day we were not getting any hot water in our house here in Brasil. We had the gas exchanged and then it still did not work. Before we called the repair man, another missionary here came and looked at it, flipped the on switch and it worked. I am sure that I had tried it both ways, but I did not put it past myself to miss that.
id like to consider myself slightly handy. theres a certain someone that contributes to this site that i might have fixed a wobbly table for, and maybe built a swingset or two for. but who’s counting.
@erik – yeah, i’m not down on myself that much. or really at all. maybe i should be.
@david – you know the repair man would have made up some story about the calibration manifold needing to be replaced or something. nice catch by your buddy.
@jordan – yeah, in the year that you lived here you definitely did more handywork than I’ve done in the past 7 years.
I tell Hubs (an un-handyman) that I’d rather HIRE someone to come and be handy every now and then if the trade-off is having a husband
Just claiming the stereotype there.
24/7 who is intelligent, witty, artsy, creative, and intuitive. Not that handymen can’t be all those things as well, mind you.
Conversation at our house following this post:
K: Bryan posted today and said he’s not very handy around the house. What is that? I thought all engineers had an intuitive sense for how things work, how to put them together, etc.
D: Not necessarily.
K: Well, I guess he’s a chemical engineer and you’re a mechanical one, so…
D: We also went to school with a guy who majored in chemical engineering so he’d have a better chance of being accepted into law school, so….
@SMM – good for you for focusing on your man’s strong points and affirming him in those. +2 Bryan Points for you.
@Kelly – There’s a fine line between knowing how things work and tinkering with them and being a handyman. If something electronic breaks, or there’s a chance for me to Macguyver something, I’ll usualyl give it a shot…sometimes with good results. But straight up trade work like carpentry, plumbing, wiring, or any of that stuff forget it. I can see Dave being a decent handyman guy though…