My buddy Geof emailed me last night and said:
“Taco Smell was not designed to be consumed by men over 30. Discuss.”
Feeling inspired by the home of the fourth meal, I had a Top Ten List for him 20 minutes later.
And now, through the magic of the intertubes, I share it with you:
Top 10 Reasons Taco Bell Should Not Be Consumed By Men over 30
10. Their crunchy taco shells biodegrade slower than a plastic grocery bag full of styrofoam peanuts.
9. Many of us are married, and we actually enjoy sleeping in the same room as our wives.
8. We have good jobs now, so buying 5 or 6 items off the menu finally makes financial sense. Unfortunately, it’s still digestive suicide.
7. Anything involving the words “triple” and “steak” will go through you faster than a hot knife through hummus.
6. Over 90% of the items on the menu feature enough to cheese to satisfy your recommended daily allowance for the next 3 weeks.
5. Some of us are still trying to digest the chicken soft tacos we ate in 1995.
4. We’ve learned from experience that the difference between the Nachos Supreme and the Nachos Bellgrande is about 8 squares of Charmin Ultra.
3. Two Words: Volcano Taco
2. They got rid of the “yo quiero taco bell” dog!
..and the #1 reason Taco Bell should not be consumed by men over 30…
1. “Gordita Baja” in English means: “Catastrophic Bowel Movement”
Now get out there and make a run for the border!
Posted by Bryan AllainTags: Taco Bell, Top Ten List
My office still smells like ass this morning.
I hear the best thing for that is to hit the Bell up for a second consecutive day.
Taco Bell: you don’t really buy the food… you just rent it.
@ hubbs i don’t care who you are, THAT’S FUNNY.
Not falling for that game, Allain.
#4, LOL!
Totally reminds me of Jim Gaffigan’s schtick on Hot Pockets. “Then there’s the vegetarian hot pockets…for people who want the diarrhea without the meat…”
And his other quote from the same gig…which I happened to say after my last trip to Taco Smell… “Did I eat it? Or RUB IT ON MY FACE?!”