random thoughts for a friday

~why is it that words we use to describe temperature have all seemed to take on alternate meanings in today’s culture? ‘Cool’ is the obvious one, to the point now where using it to describe the temperature of something might be the alternate meaning. But what about ‘cold’? Like if you treat someone really badly: “oh man, that was cold, bro.” or what about ‘hot’? something that is hot could be very trendy or it could be stolen. Warm? well, if you’re warming up to something it means the idea is growing on you. I don’t really have a point here, in case you were wondering.

~Love it or hate it, American Idol is a great show. I’d argue that it’s entertainment value wanes as the season progresses, but you can’t argue with its success. By parading these folks out there week after week and subjecting them to obnoxious judges, they create sympathy and a following. So by the time they announce a winner, they’ve already got what separates known artists from unknown artists: a fanbase (and you thought i was going to say talent?).

~Next time you’re bored, watch sports on TV in a mirror. Use the door to your microwave or a window at night. Maybe I’m the only one who enjoys watching Tom Brady throw lefthanded and batters running to third base from home, but i doubt it.

~If right now every establishment that does not accept credit or debit cards was wiped off the face of the earth, you wouldn’t see me shedding any tears. I’d say the same thing about people who don’t have call waiting, but in that case I’d lose a good friend…WHO REALLY NEEDS TO GET CALL WAITING BECAUSE I’M SICK OF GETTING THAT BLOODY BUSY SIGNAL.

~Have you ever taken the Jeopardy questions and answers and reversed them? On the show they give the answer, then the question. But if you try flipping them around back to what you normally encounter, a question then an answer, you can see how little sense it all makes. Here’s some recent examples from a show, flipped for your enjoyment. Imagine asking these questions to someone and getting these responses: (again, these are actually from the show)

Q: “What is a Camel?”
A: “in some asian countries, the chess piece we call a bishop shares it’s name with this desert animal.”

Q: “What is a liver?”
A: “This organ of the basking shark may yield up to 200 gallons of oil.”

Q: “What is Manufacturer’s Suggested Retail Price?”
A: “MSRP is short for this.”

Try it next time you watch the show, it almost fun (but not quite).

~I want to have major plastic surgery just so a doctor can write all over me with a permanent marker. that looks fun, doesn’t it?

~Why do they ask me if i want my gallon of milk in a bag? I don’t care, I really don’t. Stick it in the cart, stick it in the bag, stick it in a huge treasure chest with fake gold coins and a hermit crab. I don’t care and I don’t want to be asked. Same with my receipt. Just stick in in the bag. If i want it in my pocket, I am perfectly capable of locating and retrieving it from the bag, thank you very much. I don’t have time for irrelevant questions. Perhaps i should start asking the cashiers if they would like me to hand them my credit card with my left hand or my right hand. Maybe then they’ll get the point.

…and now time for a long weekend.